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Face-Eating Aliens From Planet X/Transcript
opens up with Fanboy and Chum Chum reading a comic Fanboy: "And then, as her three tongues licked her seven lips, he realized that she was a ...." Fanboy and Chum Chum: ''FACE-EATING ALIEN FROM PLANET X!'' Fanboy: I am shocked to my very core, Chum Chum. If this children's comic book is to be believed, there are Face-Eating Aliens living among us. Chum Chum: And they look exactly like everyone else! and the only way to recognize them is by their horrible screech! Yo: HI!!! Fanboy and Chum Chum: AHHHH! desks jump up, then fall back down again Yo: up pink notes Would you boys pass these notes to every girl in the class? But don't read them, they're for girls only. and leaves Fanboy: flatly Sure thing, Yo. Chum Chum: flatly Wouldn't dream of it. begin to pass the notes to the other girls Fanboy: Here ya go. Chum Chum: Heads up! Heads up! Fanboy: Get your notes here! Lupe a note hits her Ay! Chum Chum: Donnegal! girls chatter Fanboy: Incoming! Chum Chum: Look alive! Fanboy: Look sharp. Chum Chum: Notes coming! Fanboy: Special delivery, girl junk. bell rings, the girls chat and giggle Chum Chum: Girls are so funny. girl voice "Pass these notes and make sure you don't read it. It's for girls only." Fanboy: Heh heh, yeah. Like we care what's in their notes. Chum Chum: I know I don't. Fanboy: a left-over note on the ground Hey, they dropped one. Hm, wonder what's inside. opens the note, it releases a rainbow followed by a blinding light Chum Chum: GIRL CUTENESS! IT'S TOO CUTE! MY EYES CAN'T HANDLE IT! Fanboy: AAAAAHHHH! MUST! DE-GIRLIFY IT! the note with de-girlifyer of the note, it reads: :Slumber Party at Yo's house! :Sat. night @ 7:00 :NO BOYS ALLOWED! '' '''Chum Chum:' GET THE UNICORNS! AND THAT PENGUIN ON THE COTTON CANDY CLOUD! Fanboy: I'M TRYING! light coming from the note fades, close up of the note; the pictures are smeared Fanboy: "Slumber party at Yo's house, Saturday night at seven. No boys allowed". Chum Chum: That's it? A dumb old slumber party with a bunch of girls? Why does that have to be a secret? Fanboy: a shocked expression on his face Unless...they're not girls at all. Ask yourself, Chum Chum. Why would a group of girls get together on a Saturday night? Chum Chum: To braid each other's hair and glue rhinestones to cookies? Fanboy: Ha, ha, ha, ha! I don't think so. No, I think you'll find the far more rational explanation is...THEY'RE FACE-EATING ALIENS FROM PLANET X! Chum Chum: choke I sucked in some glitter. Fanboy: See for yourself! to Nancy and two cheerleaders jumping rope What are those girls doing RIGHT NOW? Chum Chum: Jumping rope? Fanboy: Sure. They might be jumping rope. Or they might be -- SPOOLING UP A WORMHOLE SO THEY CAN TELEPORT BACK TO PLANET X. WHERE THEY'LL HOST THEIR EVIL ALIEN BANQUET. The main course? FACE! Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Chum Chum: WE'VE GOTTA WARN THE OTHER BOYS! Fanboy: They'll never believe us! Would you believe us? Chum Chum: I never believe us. Fanboy: See? We've got to get proof! And I think I know how to get it. to Yo's house on Saturday night. Yo and the girls are watching a romance movie between a vampire and a zombie, similar to Twilight Vampire: MacKenzie...I don't care if I'm a vampire and you're a zombie...I love you, anyway. MacKenzie: YEEEARRRRRRRR. BRAINS. girls sigh. We hear a knock at the door Yo: Huh, I wonder who that is. goes over to the bedroom door. It slams open, revealing Fanboy and Chum Chum dressed as girls Fanboy and Chum Chum: girl voices PARTAAAAY! Yo: Hmm? Fanboy: We're here for the slumber par-tay! Chum Chum: Par-tay! Whoop-whoop! Yo: I'm sorry, do I know you? Fanboy: Liiiiike, we're totally random girls from West Apetown? Chum Chum: We're all like, "dang-dong" and you were all like, "can I help you?" Fanboy: And I was totally all like, "hello"! Chum Chum: And then, you were all like, "come in"! Fanboy: And then, we became BFFs! LOL! Scrumpty! Fanboy and Chum Chum: BEIBER, BEIBER, BEIBER! Yo: Fanboy You're weird. Chum Chum But there's something irresistibly cute about you! Chum makes a cute face Yo: Come on in! the other girls Hey, everyone! These are two new girls from West Apetown! Fanboy: My name's Fandrea... Chum Chum: And, um, my besties, call me...Chumbelina Jolie! tosses glitter Glitter! Girls: Ooh! Cher: West Apetown! Lupe: They got a mall. Chum Chum: Fanboy They don't look like aliens. Fanboy: voice Duh, they're in disguise. Yo: Hey, everyone! Look who's here: it's Marsha! enters the room, thunder crashes, Fanboy and Chum Chum gasp Marsha: Let's get this party...sssssssssssssstarted. Fanboy: gasp Marsha! We should've known! She's probably their Alien Queen! nails and yelps Chum Chum: voice She's totally like, gonna eat your face. Marsha: Who want's s'mores? up a pitchfork and flames s'mores onto it Girls: Yay!/Yeah/Totally!/Terrific! laughing sees Fanboy and Chum Chum. She approaches them Marsha: You two. I don't believe I've made your acquaintancccccccce. sniffs You smell like...BOYS! Fanboy: voice Uh, that's because I like, um, have been, like, totally kissing boys? Chum Chum: Uh, yeah, she'll like, kiss anybody! Fanboy: Mm-hmm. Duke, uh, Chuggy, Fankylechum... Marsha: I'' LIKE FANKYLECHUM! I wrote his name on my binder! ''binder with Fankylechum in a heart, along with pictures of Fanboy getting beaten up Fanboy: Did I, like, say "Fankylechum"? Definitely did not mean to say that. I meant to say, um...man...Kyle...yum. laugh stares at him. Camera shifts back and fourth between Marsha and Fanboy twice, on the second, we see an extreme close up of their eyes. Fanboy wimpers, suddenly... Marsha: Oh, yeah! He's dreamy, too! I like his braces! girls come forward Cher: Uh-huh! Lupe: I like his accent, it's so foreign. Francine: I love it when he makes the sky, like, all dark, and like, all evil! Fanboy: Girls! Girls! If we're, like, talking cute boys, shouldn't we start with the cutest? Fanboy? the girls laugh Yo: Ooooh, Fandrea likes Fanboy! Francine: He is, like, oh, so dorky! Lupe: That boy has problems. Nancy: Ee-ee-ee-ee! Marsha: That's enough about boys! This is a party for girlssssssssssss. pause Let's play a game! Lupe: How about we play Truth or Dare? Cher/Francine: Oh, man!/Uh-huh!/That's right! Fanboy: normal voice, at Chum Chum Perfect! Now's our chance to prove the truth! That these girls are really aliens! And I know just the lie detector to use. watch to Dollarnator chopping logs in the forest, he rings Dollarnator: You've got Dollarnator. Fanboy: Dollarnator, we're at a slumber party. I know this sounds crazy, but we need you to dress as a girl, and -- door slams open revealing Dollarnator as a girl Dollarnator: girl voice 'Sup, girlfriends? Sorry I'm late! I traveled back in time an extra half hour so my nails could dry. pause What? Is there lipstick on my teeth? Fanboy: No, no, you look...uh -- let's begin. changes to everyone sitting in a circle Fanboy: voice Okay, so I just wanna warn you guys that our friend, uh...Dolly''nator -- '''Dollarnator:' No, no, no! Tiffany! Fanboy: Okay...Tiffany, is really good at Truth or Dare, especially the truth part. down Chum Chum: So, if any of you guys are like, oh, I don't know -- Face-Eating Aliens from Planet X -- she'll totally know. girls are confused. Fanboy presses a button on Dollarnator's panel which activates the lie detector feature Lupe: That looks dangerous. Fanboy: Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta, it's perfectly harmless. Here, I'll show you. on the lie detector colander hat Okay, somebody ask me a Truth. Francine: I know! Like, what did you do Friday night? Fanboy: Oh, that's easy. I went to a movie with my BFF, Chumbelina. lights up on Dollarnator's monitor Chum Chum: See? It's like, totally true! Dollarnator: A true lie! girls gasp You told me you were washing your hair! That's why we couldn't hang out that night! Fanboy: Oh. Well, I did wash my hair. helmet shocks Fanboy, "LIE" lights up on Dollarnator's monitor Fanboy: Uh, I washed around my hair. shocked I washed my hands? shocked Well, I'm sure I washed some part of my body that day! shocked That week? shocked Well, I wanted to hang out with you. shocked gasps and turns his back to Fanboy and Chum Chum Lupe: Oh, no, she di'n't. Dollarnator: I believe I just proved that she di-id! I was at home, by my phone, vaiting to hear from you, and you never dialed out! And you said you were my BFF! Turns out that stands for snapping "Big Fat Phony"! Fanboy: Isn't phony spelled with a -- Dollarnator: NOT IN THE FUTURE! out, crying Fanboy: Tiffany, wait! I'll make it up to you! Next Friday is Tiffany Day! girls aren't happy Francine: You totally made Tiffany cry?! Lupe: You have broken the-eh Slumber Party Code. And now, you must pay. With a pillow fight! bring out pillows Chum Chum: Um...Fandrea? What do we do? Fanboy: voice This is perfect! Now, we can knock off their disguises and prove once and for all that they're dangerous, evil, Face-Eating Aliens. But remember, go easy on them. They're girls. hit with a pillow Hey! Marsha: Hai-yah! Yo: Ay-yay! Cheerleaders: Cool...fight, fight, fight! Marsha: Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy! Girls: Charge! and Chum Chum gasp, the girls come over and bash them with pillows for several seconds Yo: Wait a minute! Look at them! Fanboy and Chum Chum, their wigs fell off revealing that they were only disguised as girls Cher: They're boys! Lupe: It's Fanboy and Chum Chum. Marsha: gasp The ultimate breach of Slumber Party Protocol! Yo: These boys must be punished! Fanboy: Chum Chum This is the part where they eat our faces! girls start to close in on them Chum Chum: AHHHH! Fanboy: Please, not the face, not the face! to black, the girls are heard laughing and we hear smooching sounds. Fade up, the girls are wearing lipstick and Fanboy and Chum Chum stand up Fanboy: They -- they didn't eat our faces! turn to face each other, their faces are covered in kiss marks Chum Chum: Oh, but they kissed them. Fanboy and Chum Chum: THAT'S EVEN WORSE! run out, the girls laugh and Chum Chum run out of the house and scrub the kiss marks off their faces. They sigh, relieved Fanboy: Well, at least we know the girls aren't aliens, right? Chum Chum: Yeah. I guess we should go wash this makeup off, huh? Fanboy: pause My...cousin's having a slumber party in West Apetown. pause Fanboy and Chum Chum: girly BEIBER, BEIBER, BEIBER! run off back to Yo's room Francine: I can't believe they thought we were Face-Eating Aliens-uh. Yo: I know! fridge revealing lifelike heads of the boys they know We're Head-Eating Aliens. music, the girls laugh as Marsha takes Fankylechum's head with "tentacles" Marsha: I like Fankylechum, huh-huh. hisses sticks her "alien" tongue on the head, cut to black Category:Transcripts